They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
