the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
