He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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