yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
