I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
