He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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