i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
