What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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