i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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