He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
