I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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