The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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