the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
