So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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