so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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