So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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