yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hippo gnu deer
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
