spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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