PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Randomize
