i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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