i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
