Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
