are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
