Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
