It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
