and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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