I'm jealous of your bromance
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
