If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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