soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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