Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
