I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I love having hate sex.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
