i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
