When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
