i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
