Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
