why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
