I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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