Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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