quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
