Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So vagazzling was a success
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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