he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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