If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
