Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
