Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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