there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
