I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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