Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
