sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
