When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
