wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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