Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
